


Lions, Form Paladins!

by demigold



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Based on a shitpic on discord, Coran is the Castle, I’m so sorry, Paladins as Lions, Role Reversal, Roleswap, Season 7 Therapy, Shiro is Kaltenecker, The Galra and Mice Swapped, Voltron Lions as Humans, somebody save me, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-01 17:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15778548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demigold/pseuds/demigold
Summary: I’m so so sorry





	1. The beginning of it all is not as great as it seems because the author has major regrets but not really because this was hecking funny!!! uwu XD i want to mcDie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evezvoxt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evezvoxt/gifts).



As per usual, the mission went horrifically different than intended to. The thing about fighting the Galra was they somehow always had the leg up.

 

After hours of back and forth game of tug of war both sides tired greatly. Each of the Paladins grew wearier as the fight carried on.

 

It seemed the Galra felt the same. They quickly rushed out Haggar and her druids to hasten the end of the fight nearer. With an _abracababra_ and a _bippity_ _boppity_ _boo,_ a bolt of spooky evil space lightning hurdled toward the Paladins and their lions.

 

”Wowie!” yeehawed Keith as the scary electricity sh00k his lion.

 

”That was a boi alright,” Lance added. His hands left the joystick when Blue rattled him around like a baby rocked to heavy metal.

 

Pidge yipped each time Green jostled her around. Her own lion appeared to view her as a child in need of more extreme cradle rocking than even Lance. It was like Green’s goal was to make green eggs and ham out of Pidge and her brain.

 

”OwO guys,” Hunk yelled over the intercom, “I think I feel that in my bones.”

 

”Yeah I’m getting a weird burn from the inside of my body,” seconded kieth.

 

”Ditto m’dude,” Lance.

 

”( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” Pidge insisted in a meme master way. It seemed that was the only wa she prefered to communicate.

 

Sudden a second shock rocked their cock pits.

 

”Paladins get back here!”

 

”What Shiro said, it’s time to retreat!”

 

they all made it ro the castle without anyone following them. Which was oldd. It was like the galra had been warned not to touch htme.

 

the sexond the lines touched down and the paladins raced out. Tje lightning rumbled out from the lions in archign sockwaves. They all froze.

 

from the outside perspective of one (1) UNO Takashi Shirogane in the [astral plane]. He sat on his lawn chair, sipping a martini before swapping it for hos piña colado. He then yeeeted it behind him and picked up the popcorn. This was gomna be good.

 

The paladins felt their bodys wiggle wiggle worm until their souls souped out and rammed into their lions. Meanwhile coran’s was soul wa ssUUUCCCked out and shoved into thencastle. Shiro (the clone of ocurse onviously) was replacdd wirh Kaltenecker.

 

in the place of the lions were individual limbs of the paladins. Green was a Pidge arm. Yellow was a Hunk leg. Blue was an Allura leg. Red was a Lance arm. And Black had becoMETH Kieth’s head. (But it was hovering menancingly)

 

in the place of the paladins however were the paladins exactly the same but with shruckedn lion heads. The lions turned to one another. Tjen they looked up at where their former bodies were supposed to be.

 

”Ruh roh,” said Scooby doo.

 

Barry B. Benson buzzed by and said “Gnarly my radishes.”

 

The worst change was with Coran. On the place of the poor man was a minarure castleship. This could only mean one thing. They were all inside Coran!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!

 

UWU INDEED...

 

Then the screaming of agony and smaddness insued.

 

(Shan if you’re reading this I Shtan you)

 

Suddenly the wii theme came over the intercome and a moo sounded.

 

”Moo.” Said the cow — it was Kaltenecker!!! “Sorry, sometimes it’s hard to switch back.”

 

”But this is ur first time being a cow shririo!”

 

”Yeah, I’m feeling very lenny about this uwu xD!!”

 

gasp this is the end of the first chapter because the author is tired and lowkey (maybe highkey) wants to criiiiiiii

 

ANYWAYS DON’T FORGET TO LIEK COMMENT AND SUBSXRIBEERSDEEEEEEE BYEEEEEE


	2. so here's the thing i regret saying this would be eight chapters so this is only going to be three or four because i'm not ready for commitment

Everybody was freaking the heck out. What the McHeck was happening? Why did they suddenly find themselves in a different body? Why were Scooby Doo and Berry B. Benson there? Where was the wii theme playing from?

 

Those were all wonderful questions without solid answers. If they were to be answered, the simple response would be a fine and dandy one worded 'I-Don't-Know'. It's counts as one word because I hyphenated it and in this cursed land i maek the laws.

 

Cut to our dearest boys screaming at each other on the lion's deck. whsat are wrooooords

 

"What the hell bro!"

 

"Honestly man I was just trying to get us to win that stupid fight bro."

 

"This is ur fault bro."

 

"Bro!"

 

"Dear gods Blease stop!!" uwu'd Pongo Genderson.

 

"Y'all," yodeled Kieth, "I don't understand a diddly darn thing that's up right now."

 

The lions, currently in their Paladin’s bodies, turned to one another and roared. Instead of a real roar like the ones they were used to all that came out was a gentle kitten purr.

 

”hey how come out lions just got to have their heads replace ours but when we became, well, the lions, all we get to be is one limb!!!”

 

”ah, the mysteries of the world” boomed a great voice

 

”GASP!1!1!!” All the paladins cried out — who could possibly be speaking to them? Apparently the transformation had caused them all to forget what Coran’s voice sounded like.

 

”Tis I, the great and powerful Coran, your new corn god!”

 

”OMG Coran where are you???”

 

suddenly everything clicked, coran was the castle. Duh, why else was there a miny castle just floating around the,, well,, castle? coran? coran castle? castle coran??

 

It seemed no amount of uwus could save our brave paladins from what was coming for them.

 

”Holy hecking frick y’all look outside!”

 

”Keith the only outside is space!”

 

”I know that you dumb motherf*****”

 

”WOAH OK MAN I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD HETEROSAPIEN AND POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS BUT NOOOOOOOO”

 

”my dudes do as keith says,” shiro came in over the speaker. “if ur’re ur lions then u can just zoom outside and look, meanwhile the lion paladins can come up to the brid”

 

”okidoki you got it boss man””””

 

and so the paladins flew their limbs out into space. It was weird and must have looked even weirder from the outside because as soon as they revealed themselves the Galra ships before them automaticlaly turned back, crashed into each other.

 

”well that was some grade a okidoki artichoky,” hunk

 

THEn pidge cried “GUYSES LOOK OUT!1!!:!2!1!”

 

suddenly a giant,, something,, nailed all the paladin’s lions-turned-limbs and sent them rocketing through space!


	3. why am i doing this? i don't know, all i know is somebody won't stop making weird photo edits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> god save me

  * eat an ostrich
  * don’t drink motor oil
  * say hi to grandma
  * buy five pounds of cashews
  * mermaids vs chicken nuggets who would win?




End file.
